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May. 27th, 2014 09:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
winternHer dreams, her memories... they're getting worse. Where before, she remembered fragments - an alley, a bright bloom of blood on someone's chest, a scream - images, mostly detached from anything too intense. But they're longer, harder to tell from reality. Instead of quick flashes, she's getting lost in them, forgetting where she is for minutes at a time before her past deposits her back into the present.
It's terrifying. Terror is not a feeling she's supposed to have context for. She thinks, for the first time in weeks, that she really is just breaking down, fracturing without Hydra to fit the pieces of her mind back together into their mold.
The third time it happens is worse than anything before. She's keeping an eye on Wilson, hidden comfortably in a crowd, and someone puts their hand on her shoulder, and she's just not there anymore. She's in a room instead, brightly lit in a way that makes her head hurt to see, and someone's gripping her shoulders, holding her in place. She's terrified, she knows what's coming and it hurts and words keep falling out of her mouth, words like no and please over and over again, a mantra that doesn't do her any good because they strap her down anyway and give her another injection.
- And then she's in the crowd again, people with their hands on her, asking if she's all right, saying they've called 911 and can she breathe okay? She just tears through them, shaking and lost and barely holding onto her knowledge of where she is (2014, it's 2014 and she is not the Winter Soldier, not Hydra's test subject anymore).
It's terrifying. Terror is not a feeling she's supposed to have context for. She thinks, for the first time in weeks, that she really is just breaking down, fracturing without Hydra to fit the pieces of her mind back together into their mold.
The third time it happens is worse than anything before. She's keeping an eye on Wilson, hidden comfortably in a crowd, and someone puts their hand on her shoulder, and she's just not there anymore. She's in a room instead, brightly lit in a way that makes her head hurt to see, and someone's gripping her shoulders, holding her in place. She's terrified, she knows what's coming and it hurts and words keep falling out of her mouth, words like no and please over and over again, a mantra that doesn't do her any good because they strap her down anyway and give her another injection.
- And then she's in the crowd again, people with their hands on her, asking if she's all right, saying they've called 911 and can she breathe okay? She just tears through them, shaking and lost and barely holding onto her knowledge of where she is (2014, it's 2014 and she is not the Winter Soldier, not Hydra's test subject anymore).
